thoughts on a sunny day.

I've grown tired of living life from one crisis to the next.

I'm not going to resolve to never have another crisis or never be stressed, but its time to change attitudes, its time to turn that ship's wheel a quarter turn and chart a new course.

I like that analogy. At first a quarter turn doesn't feel like much in a ship, at first it doesn't feel any different at all. Then slowly the ship's course grows farther and farther away from its original direction, after a time that small quarter turn can make a huge difference.

I didn't write anything at the end of 2008. Usually I come up with some grand note telling myself to continue upwards and onwards, spur myself to greater heights through reflection of the previous year. Don't get me wrong, 2008 was great but I think a quarter turn is needed in 2009.

In certain ways, 2008 and the first few months of 2009 beat me up. At times I felt like a boxer with weights in his gloves, unable to lift his arms to protect his face from his opponant. My poor nose got bloody a couple times and I desired to become tougher, to be able to aquire the strength to take those punches and return them with force.

I think 2009 needs to be about appreciating vulnerability. Although not generally recognised as such, I believe showing vulnerability is a strength. When we are vulnerable and open and honest, when we admit fault and strive to be better, when we love and care deeply we open ourselves to be hurt and rejected but we also open our lives to a deeper love, deeper community, and deeper understanding of oneself. To be able to show that, to take that risk shows a strength of charactor many are fearful to try.

May this next year be about trust; about entering into community with those we love, to share . . . yes even to argue sometimes but most of all to be vulnerable with those we care about. May it make us better people, more understanding and caring, more loving and generous. May it deepen our understanding of humanity and the amazing life we have been given.

its time